Pornhub

Pornhub: The King of the Internet’s Spank Bank

Every generation has its defining icon. The Romans had Caesar. The 90s had Nirvana. Millennials? We got Pornhub.

You know it. You love it. You’ve probably misspelled it while frantically typing with one hand. Whether you call it “poenhub,” “pornhib,” “porn hun,” or categorically shameful “phub,” Pornhub is the undisputed heavyweight champ of free porn on the Internet. And it’s time someone wrote it the depraved love letter it so richly deserves.

So here it is: the ultimate deep dive into the sticky, glorious palace that gave your wrist carpal tunnel and your incognito mode a real purpose. Welcome to the motherload—literally.

A Brief (Sticky) History of Pornhub
Born in 2007—a more innocent time when porn still came in “DVD” format and you needed LimeWire to ruin your PC for three blurry pixels of cleavage—Pornhub started out as yet another site in the wild, wild West of web porn. Founded by Matt Keezer, who slapped it together like a teenage fantasy project, Pornhub was later sold to Fabian “Big Dick Energy” Thylmann, who folded it into the massive sex content black hole known as Manwin, now MindGeek.

That’s right—Pornhub isn’t just a site. It’s part of a goddamn porn empire. MindGeek owns everyone from Brazzers and Reality Kings to Digital Playground and YouPorn. It’s not just a website—it’s the Disney of dick flicks.

The Numbers Don’t Lie (But Your Washcloth Probably Does)
As of now, Pornhub is home to over 11 million videos. Read that again. Eleven. Million. That’s more porn than you could watch in 3 lifetimes… assuming your dick could keep up and you didn’t die of dehydration first.

Every day, the site rakes in tens of millions of views. That means if you’re not watching Pornhub today, don’t worry—someone in your apartment complex is picking up the slack. Maybe even your grandma. Don’t act surprised.

Is it the biggest porn site in the world? Technically, no. Xvideos sometimes edges it out for pure traffic. But Pornhub’s more than just a tube. It’s a brand. It’s a meme. It’s a lifestyle. And it has more categories than a horny Boy Scout merit badge book.

Categories for Every Creep and Kink
You like it? They got it. From the classic grab-bag of Blowjobs, Anal, and Big Tits, to the slightly off-the-rails Cartoon, Hentai, and Furries-that-make-you-question-your-life.

For those of you dead inside: there’s Bondage, Hardcore, Pain Sluts, and Public Disgrace. For the romantics? Yup—there’s even a goddamn “Passion” category. For women, by women, for the 17 of you out there who enjoy watching actual adult humans make semi-respectful coitus. Crazy.

They also have sections like “Popular with Women” and “Verified Amateurs,” which sounds like a contradiction, but who’s really complaining when it looks that good? Hell, they’ve even got a “Vintage” section for when you want to jerk off like your dad did back in 1982. Just be aware: those bushes are big enough to hide a family of squirrels.

The only thing you won’t find openly? Taboo. Pornhub keeps it classy with the step-family dynamics behind the scenes—but you already know how to game the search bar. Just type “stepmom” or “stepsis” and brace for the moral whiplash.

All Your Favorite Sluts, Stars, and Squirters
Name a pornstar—any pornstar—and odds are they’ve got a cum-soaked shrine right here on Pornhub. Riley Reid? Check. Angela White? Damn right. Mia Khalifa? LOL, yeah—but don’t be fooled. She only filmed like 12 scenes before retiring, though the site still acts like she’s the second coming of Jenna Jameson.

That’s part of the charm. You’ll find thousands of poorly named, mislabeled reuploads of the same video, all pretending like they’re fresh outta the casting couch. Who the hell cares. Is your dick checking metadata?

Pornhub lets you subscribe to channels, build playlists like it’s iTunes for jack-offs, and even follow your favorite performers like they’re softcore Instagram influencers. Best of all? It’s free. You can watch Riley Reid’s entire “Anal Evolution” arc from 2013 to now at zero cost. Your ancestors fought through wars for this freedom.

Tech Features That’ll Make You Cream Your Jeans
One of the glorious things about Pornhub is the amount of thoughtful engineering that went into their video player. These guys obsess over your jerk-off flow like NASA engineers calculating lunar re-entry.

You hate slow foreplay? Skip straight to the pounding thanks to:

📊 Hotspots: Shows you where the masses do their business. Not just porn—crowd-sourced, data-driven masturbatory science.

🎥 Tags in Player: See what’s coming and where. Cowgirl at 4:10. ATM at 9:45. Cream pie at 12:00. Your fantasy, mapped like a GPS of sluttiness.

🐢 Speed Control: Dial it down to .25x and watch that cumshot in glorious Matrix bullet-time.

🏷️ Tags and Categories You Can Actually Use: Praise be, they even have “feet” separated from “footjob.” Because accuracy matters.

Want to comment? You can. Want to leave a review like “Nice tits. 10/10 would nut again”? That too. Like a Reddit thread, but everyone’s horny. You can even message other users if you feel like turning Pornhub into Pornpal. It’s community-driven wanking. Social masturbation at its finest.

Premium Porn for Pennies
Pornhub Premium is what happens when someone looked at the free buffet of smut and said, “What if… more HD?” For $9.99/month (first week FREE—because hooking you is one hell of a drug), you get:

Full 4K Videos

No Ads

Download Access

Premium-only scenes

VR Porn — for those of you brave enough to attach a dick to your Oculus headset

If regular porn is beer, Premium is the liquor cabinet. Stronger, faster, and it might make you question your choices afterwards.

Oh, and if you’ve ever wanted to give someone the gift of porn (bless your soul), Pornhub sells gift cards. Imagine Grandma unwrapping that on Christmas morning. Beautiful.

Want to Get Paid to Bang?
Yep. Pornhub also lets you upload your own videos. If you’ve got a camera, a willing partner (or a sock), and the desire to put your meat circus on the worldwide web, it can be hella profitable.

Some of Pornhub’s top amateur couples are pulling in upwards of $30k to $40k a month. Imagine that: jerking off for strangers paying your mortgage. Pornstar dreams, baby.

Final Thoughts: All Hail the Hub
Pornhub isn’t just a porn site.

It’s a part of pop culture. A social phenomenon. Your greatest lover and your worst secret. Whether you’re a once-a-week tugger, a daily destroyer of tissues, or just someone who needed to “do research,” Pornhub welcomes you with open arms and spread legs.

They’ve built an empire of orgasms that caters to everyone from the vanilla villagers to the leather-clad dungeon dwellers. And they did it with style, tech, and thousands of hours of people fucking on camera.

So close your door, clear your history, and dive head-first into your dark desires. Because if you can’t get off to something on Pornhub… you’re either dead or Amish.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some “research” of my own to get back to.